I read today that there is a protest in Chicago this Sunday at 2pm. That's poor timing for a protest, considering they'll be competing against the Bears game. Parking is gonna suck. Although, I have to figure that the majority of protesters, regardless of the cause, use public transportation. Or, at the very least, they carpool. The purpose of the gathering is to commemorate the death of that anti-war protester that burnt himself to death near the Kennedy earlier this month. The guy set up a video camera, doused himself with gasoline, wrapped an American flag around his head and set himself on fire. That's hard core. I bet that somewhere in Oregon there was a hippie on a 3-day hunger strike that totally got upstaged when his girlfriend heard about this.
Sad thing for the guy is, outside the protesting community, it didn't really make headlines. At least I didn't hear about it. Of course, that only means it wasn't on the Fox News Chicago tease in between reruns of "The Simpsons" and "Malcolm in the Middle".
There has got to be a better way to protest than to burn yourself alive, also known as self-immolation.(That's right, I learned something today. Well, I actually learned 2 things. The other was that Axe Body Spray is not useful in removing the smell from gym shoes. It just covers it up. But that was a completely separate learning experience.)
The first major problem with burning yourself is the intense pain. I'd recommend something less excruciating, like maybe shaving without cream. It hurts, but you can then move on with your day.
Another thing this guy did wrong is to choose a protest that would kill him. Big mistake. If he only got maimed, he gets to be around to enjoy the fruits of his labor, plus garner some sweet sympathy and hero-worship from female demonstrators.
Worst of all, the poor dude didn't even get the news coverage he hoped for. Oh, well. At least he taped it. Maybe he'll make the cut for Jackass 3.

Posted by Brendan at 07:28 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Stay warm this winter with help from this cozy Matt Dahl Show sweatshirt! For this and other items, click here to visit the store!

Posted by Matt Dahl at 12:18 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Don't forget to join Brendan and me this Thursday morning, from 9am to 1pm, for our very special Thanksgiving broadcast, "Slippin' Into Dark Meat". We give thanks to Stan and Terry for allowing us to fill-in, and hopefully you can spend some of your holiday with us!

Posted by Matt Dahl at 08:38 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Today marks the birthday of the greatest man I know, my father, Steve Dahl. To many, he is an entertainer, a friend- some would even say a genius! While he is all these things to my family and me, he definitely is a whole lot more. He is our loving father.

For 21 years now, I have never met a better man than the one who raised me. My dad has made countless sacrifices in his life in order to better provide for my brothers and I, even though at times we have completely taken him for granted. He has carefully helped to shape us into the young men we have grown to become, with love, discipline, and general lessons for life. My dad is the kind of guy who seems to have it all figured out, and whenever he shares a lesson (although we act like we don’t care), we are typically paying close attention knowing that some day we can impress somebody with our vast knowledge of how the world works.

Day after day he heads to work, putting the utmost energy and enthusiasm into his show not only because he loves to do it, but also because the family depends on it. Many days he returned home to a chaotic house full of boys, with little to no acknowledgment of the day’s great show and his hard work. It is easy to become accustomed to having things provided for you, and although this may have been the case, it never deterred my dad. He is not one to seek a thank you, and does not need to own credit. He constantly gives without asking for any thing in return. Without him, we would not be privileged to the quality of life we currently maintain, and for that we are truly grateful. Today, I am old enough to understand just how extensively I owe my father for everything in my life, and hopefully I can someday try and return the favor.

As far as having a dad goes, we have the funniest. Hands down. I can’t even begin to list the hilarious family memories we have, most of them spearheaded or enhanced by a great line from Dad. They can be as simple as the image of dad in a sleeping bag on an RV (we called it the human burrito), or the result of another entertainingly petty family fight. He taught us that any potentially awkward, scary, or uncomfortable situation can easily be remedied with a little bit of laughter, one of the greatest gifts in this world.

Today, on his birthday, I hope my dad understands how much we truly appreciate him, and how enormous our love for him is. He is our rock, our dad, and our friend. He is our Boomer.

We still have the 'Little Boy Peeing" statue in the backyard, unfortunately it doesn't work anymore because my brothers and I once shoved a stick in the plumbing, if you know what I mean.

Posted by Matt Dahl at 01:04 PM | Permalink | Comments (9)

Hey everyone. With the holiday season upon us, I thought I would make available a few Matt Dahl Show themed odds and ends, such as this beautiful, unique, and truly comfortable thong. Check out the store by clicking here, and enjoy your shopping experience. These are just the first of several more items to come.

Posted by Matt Dahl at 12:09 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

It’s finals week for me right now, which sucks. There’s something about being a senior, too, which makes it extra difficult, even though I’m in the homestretch. I have heard this disease previously termed ‘Senioritis’, but I thought it was something that only affected old people. I have been going to school for 18 of my 21 years of existence, if you count pre-school, which I do, because the homework was grueling. It was there I developed my first crush on a teacher at the tender age of 4. Her name was Ms. Pierce, and she was a total babe. Some say she ‘Pierced’ my heart however, as she denied the invitation to my kick ass birthday pool party, where I was hoping to get her in the back yard, loosen her up with a couple of cocktails, and check her out in a bikini. Even though she couldn’t make it(she probably had to help some other loser color in the lines), she still sent a gift. That’s the preschool way.

My scholastic crushes continued as the years unfolded, however I had already been jaded by the rejection of my preschool teacher, and was hesitant to give my heart to just any educator. Even my seventh grade science teacher babe(nothing turns me on more than a beautiful woman who can work a beaker), sold me out to become engaged to a police officer. I didn’t stand a chance as I couldn’t even cook a hotdog with solar power at the time, and this guy had a gun. I cried, and we viewed my tears under the microscope. It was our moment.

Posted by Matt Dahl at 05:36 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

It's been a nice few days for Chicago sports. The Bulls came back to win on Saturday before embarking on their annual circus road trip. The Cubs signed Aramis Ramirez and Kerry Wood and added Mark DeRosa today. The Blackhawks won a game, even though that one guy got his throat slit. And the Bears took a huge step against the Giants. Oh, and for the Sox...well, Juan Uribe didn't shoot anyone, so that's good. My only disappointment from the Bears game is that Al Michaels didn't do his traditonal Robbie Gould/Elliot Gould name comparison before kickoff. Since Al didn't grace us with it this time, I'll tell you how it goes.

Al Michaels: We are set for kickoff. The Bears are setting up.

John Madden: Yeah.

Al Michaels: Now there is the Bears kicker, Robbie GOLD. And that is how it is pronounced, "Gold". He spells it like Elliot Gould, the actor, but it isn't pronounced that way.

John Madden: Yeah.

Al Michaels: So Robbie GOLD is set to kickoff....and we are underway.

John Madden: Boom!

Well, it goes something like that; and it is wonderful every time. I'm sure that Al doesn't realize that about half of his audience doesn't know who Elliot Gould is. And the other half doesn't care who he is. I could recommend some other 70's icons for Al to use in his NFL comparisons.
e.g.
Michaels: Jeff Fisher's mustache is different from the mustache Burt Reynolds wore in Smokey and the Bandit, but they are both full lip mustaches.
Madden: Bam!

He could also tell viewers that Soldier Field is where the Bears play, and Sally Field is anywhere that Eli Manning plays.

Posted by Brendan at 07:36 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I've got a new foe. I haven't had many straight up enemies in my life. But there have been a few. There was a kid that used to hold my head in the snow in grade school. He wouldn't beat up my buddy because he had a protective big brother that would've killed him. I have no brother. So he concentrated on bullying me. In the long run, I feel it toughened me up. Plus, the snow facial probably helped tighten my pores. Little did he know he was helping me fight acne. In high school, there was a guy that was always threatening to shoot me, mostly because I was a smart ass. This was pre-Columbine, so I always called his bluff. Lucky for me, he was bluffing. In college, there was a crazy, angry guy in a wheelchair named Lil' Penny(yes, he shared a name with the Chris Rock character from the old Anfernee Hardaway commercials). He used to always try and cut me off on the sidewalk around campus. I mostly just tried to avoid him, because it's not a good look get in an altercation with the disabled. My new nemesis is the guy that works at my CTA stop on Saturday mornings before the show. The first train on Saturday mornings hits my stop at anywhere from 4:59 to 5:05 in the morning. I'm there every weekend at about 4:45 just to make sure I don't miss it. The guy working there keeps the door to the station locked right until the very last minute. It doesn't matter that I'm there week in and week out to get the same train. He doesn't care. He likes to lord his one source of power over me. It's not just pure cruelty that motivates him. It's also ignorance, as far as I can tell. No matter how much I plead with him, he can't seem to remember that there's a train scheduled for the top of the hour. He forgets every single week. It's quite frustrating. It's like playing "This is Your Life" with Charlton Heston. Last week, he didn't bother meandering over to unlock the entrance until the train was approaching. I ran up the stairs, just barely catching the train. That was a fortunate break. For had I missed that train, I would've almost certainly been jailed for assault and battery on a city employee. This all probably sounds slightly paranoid, the notion that he is focusing his torment solely on yours truly. But it's true. For two straight weeks in late August, attractive women with suitcases showed up to take the train to the airport. The dude immediately leapt from his perch to unlock the door. Well, I guess I can't blame him for that. They were both quite hot. Way too good-looking to not have someone driving them to the airport.
I guess I'm either gonna have to lodge a complaint or switch to taking the bus. Either option is probably better than punching him. Or maybe I'll just wait for winter and hold his head in the snow. I think he'd find that it can be quite refreshing.

Posted by Brendan at 07:37 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Don't Forget about the Matt Dahl Show Podcast, available for subscription!

Just search for it in the iTunes music store, or:

This link will take you there.

Graphic by Eric Rejman.

Posted by Matt Dahl at 04:58 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)

First, may I begin by saying, “Rodney King!�. If you haven’t heard already, the FBI is investigating a case of police brutality in Los Angeles that was caught on tape. The tape came to their attention after a local resident who captured the footage posted the beating on the popular video sharing site, Youtube.com. Now, in order for the tape to be noticed, this means thousands of kids must have seen the footage, enjoyed it, and shared it with others. Sort of a, “Hey, check out these cops kicking this guys ass!� type of thing. Now on the popular world of Youtube, this sort of overnight popularity is not easy to come by. I mean lets look at today’s top videos so far.

1. Lindsay Lohan Calls Paris a C*nt. I haven’t had the pleasure of viewing this one yet, but you can rest assured it is in my queue.
2. A Video Blog by Lonely Girl. This amateur home video starts out looking like a sexy one on one webcam rendezvous, but ends up being quite frightening as the hot chick is suddenly replaced by a small black kid flexing.
3. Women’s Beach Volleyball: Go Pro or Go Home. This epic documentary gets behind the scenes of the Women’s AVP tour, with interviews with various girls. There is one comment posted on the video, which reads, “Women suck at sports�.

Needless to say, among this fierce competition in the online video world, it is quite an accomplishment for the police brutality video to reach such popularity. I’m thinking the neighbor who posted the tape must not have liked the gangster very much, as he did not alert authorities to the beating. Instead, he just threw the tape up on the Internet so other people in the world could check out his neighbor having the crap kicked out of him, and enjoy it as much as he did. I mean this thing has been kicking around cyber space for months now, and has only just become of interest to any sort of authorities. If you have a chance to watch the video though, it comes highly reccomended from me.

Posted by Matt Dahl at 10:16 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

This just in. Britney Spears has filed for divorce from husband, former back-up dancer, and sleaze bag, Kevin Federline. I think we all knew it was just a matter of time. I could make an “Oops, I did it again� joke about her now second divorce, but that feels like making a modern day Clinton joke. I hope this isn’t too much of a blow to Kevin’s bad boy ego, as it would really hurt to see this affect his street creds amongst other hardcore gangster rappers. May the K-Fed Nation stay strong! We shall retaliate.

Posted by Matt Dahl at 06:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)