It’s finals week for me right now, which sucks. There’s something about being a senior, too, which makes it extra difficult, even though I’m in the homestretch. I have heard this disease previously termed ‘Senioritis’, but I thought it was something that only affected old people. I have been going to school for 18 of my 21 years of existence, if you count pre-school, which I do, because the homework was grueling. It was there I developed my first crush on a teacher at the tender age of 4. Her name was Ms. Pierce, and she was a total babe. Some say she ‘Pierced’ my heart however, as she denied the invitation to my kick ass birthday pool party, where I was hoping to get her in the back yard, loosen her up with a couple of cocktails, and check her out in a bikini. Even though she couldn’t make it(she probably had to help some other loser color in the lines), she still sent a gift. That’s the preschool way.

My scholastic crushes continued as the years unfolded, however I had already been jaded by the rejection of my preschool teacher, and was hesitant to give my heart to just any educator. Even my seventh grade science teacher babe(nothing turns me on more than a beautiful woman who can work a beaker), sold me out to become engaged to a police officer. I didn’t stand a chance as I couldn’t even cook a hotdog with solar power at the time, and this guy had a gun. I cried, and we viewed my tears under the microscope. It was our moment.