A quick celebrity obituary out of South Florida last week:

R Kelly's appendix was born in 1967 on the South Side of Chicago. It resided in the singer's lower body cavity for the next 40 years until it suddenly exploded in Miami last week. R. Kelly's appendix is survived by 2 kidneys, a liver and an active bladder (see sex tape). It dedicated its life to collecting gum, pistachio shells and other assorted undesirables that were swallowed by the singer. The appendix appeared in R. Kelly's music video "Bump N' Grind", grinding against the posterior of a female dancer. In addition, R.'s appendix cameoed in the videos for "The World's Greatest" and "Ignition (The Remix)". It also directed the videos for Parts 2,3 and 5 of the wildly popular "Trapped in the Closet" series. The appendix often referred to that period behind the camera as "his Sistine Chapel".
In 2003, R Kelly's appendix was called to testify against R. Kelly's bladder in an underage sex case. It refused to take the stand. The case has yet to go to trial.
R. Kelly's appendix will be placed in formaldehyde inside a glass jar. Visitation has yet to be announced.