My couch is too comfortable. I know that sounds like blasphemy, but it's the truth. Now, to be clear, I'm not saying that my couch is the greatest couch of all time(I've rested on more comfortable sofas), but it is too relaxing for my purposes. Lately, I can't lie down on it without dozing off. And it's throwing off my whole sleep cycle. Yesterday, for example, I came home, ate a burrito for dinner, and laid down to settle into the second half of "Talladega Nights" when I fell asleep. When I arose, I was smack dab in the middle of some dog sledding movie starring Paul Walker. (By the way, "Eight Below" is an inspirational journey that is based on a true story. Have a box of tissues at your side should you decide to pop this tale of triumph into your DVD player. I myself was so moved that I am in the process of securing a team of Huskies that might just save me the hassle of public transportation come winter.)
I realize I sound crazy for complaining about an inviting piece of furniture. In reality, it's not something that has me feeling unsettled. It was just a vehicle to let me sing the praises of my couch. Have you hugged your couch today?
Life is short, as Phil Rizzuto learned Tuesday.

Rizzuto is most famous for shouting "Holy Cow" in the same way as Harry Caray. It was Harry's catchphrase first, but Rizzuto claimed that he had always uttered that phrase even before he was a broadcaster. I find it hard to believe that a ballplayer wasn't full out swearing in the 1940s Yankees clubhouse, but that was his story and he stuck with it. Personally, I often used the phrases "Bootylicious" and "I don't think you're ready for this jelly" long before I heard them popularized by Beyonce. But, in the name of professionalism, I have stopped peppering my daily speech with either because I feel they should rightfully be associated with Beyonce. If only Rizzuto would've shown Harry the same courtesy. Now that I think about it, that Destiny's Child lyric would've made a nice home run call:
"Sosa hits one deep, way back, I don't think you're ready for this jelly, it's gone, Home Run!"

Last week, White Sox fans learned what loyal Cubs fans have known for a long time: Steve Stone is the best color commentator in the business. I'd be happy to have him on the air in Chicago again. I was raised listening to Harry Caray and Steve Stone call Cubs games. The majority of my baseball knowledge came from Steve Stone. And most everything I know about partying I learned from Harry. Harry's got almost ten years(next spring) seniority on Rizzuto of using "Holy Cow" in the afterlife as well.

The ten year anniversary of the death of another famous party animal is approaching this December. That of Chris Farley. He probably won't get the tribute that Elvis does for his 30th, but maybe I'll lie down and watch "Tommy Boy". Hopefully I don't fall asleep.