The Matt Dahl Show is on break for now. We will return on St. Patrick's Day, Monday March 17th. Matt is on his way to do missionary work in Utah, as he does near the dawn of every spring as far back as he can remember. I will use the sabbatical to re-discover my hobby: stealing hood ornaments from luxury cars under the cover of darkness. I'm looking for a classic Jaguar to add to my collection. I might even bring back the classic look invented by Beastie Boy Mike D and wear a Volkswagen hood ornament around my neck. I need a fresh look for the spring season. Mike D's fashion statement is blamed for starting the hood ornament stealing craze. I used to wear stolen brake lines around my neck. Luckily for America, my all-white rap group never hit mainstream. Many lives could've been lost.

On a side note, I read that Adam Horowitz of the Beastie Boys briefly dated Molly Ringwald after the success of License to Ill. In an interview, the Beasties' road manager told the story of Adam and Molly's first date: “On their first date, they drank premixed bottled cocktails and did Whip-Its.” Awesome.

My ultimate goal within my hobby is to tour Europe and steal hood ornaments from overseas. Did you know that in the UK, they don't call them hood ornaments, they call them "car mascots"? No joke. (I'm including that fact as dialogue in my script for "Pulp Fiction 2:Pulp-ier Fiction".) I have to go now, as I am in the process of affixing some steer horns to the front of the Sebring. My own special hood ornament.